Its a Wild(en) World

I like funny things. You may also find these things funny.
When you are on an elevator with a stranger, I challenge you to make an impression. Make them remember you. Each moment is fleeting and life is too short. Leave an impact. Make your mark. Ensure that you both made a fleeting moment of human connection.
My challenge is this.
Right before you exit the elevator, look at the human right in the eyes and say, “Woah, you look just like that guy they are looking for on the news.” Then walk away.

When you are on an elevator with a stranger, I challenge you to make an impression. Make them remember you. Each moment is fleeting and life is too short. Leave an impact. Make your mark. Ensure that you both made a fleeting moment of human connection.

My challenge is this.

Right before you exit the elevator, look at the human right in the eyes and say, “Woah, you look just like that guy they are looking for on the news.” Then walk away.

(Source: giphy.com)

Back as youngling, I would play in the backyard as younglings are prone to do. I had a swingset and a small playhouse I entitled, “Little House on the Prairie” having never watched the actual tv show. Rather than grass, we had small wood chips. They would be painfully hard and sharp after they were first laid down. They would smell terrible. Then the first rain would sprinkle the ground and suddenly they were soft. They smelled like spring. I would spend my days playing in this specific part of my yard.
One day, I noticed a woodchip had fallen on my foot. I shook my foot and then the woodchip hopped away.
Immediately, tears.
Then, screams.
Thus ended my first encounter with a toad.

Back as youngling, I would play in the backyard as younglings are prone to do. I had a swingset and a small playhouse I entitled, “Little House on the Prairie” having never watched the actual tv show. Rather than grass, we had small wood chips. They would be painfully hard and sharp after they were first laid down. They would smell terrible. Then the first rain would sprinkle the ground and suddenly they were soft. They smelled like spring. I would spend my days playing in this specific part of my yard.

One day, I noticed a woodchip had fallen on my foot. I shook my foot and then the woodchip hopped away.

Immediately, tears.

Then, screams.

Thus ended my first encounter with a toad.

(Source: giphy.com)

Opinions that Should be Facts
Yes, technically, these cannot be proven true or false. They are an opinion. And it is truly important to understand the difference. However, I hold some opinions that I wish could be proved as facts. Like:
-The word “ironically” should be banned.
-People shouldn’t be allowed to say “I mean I believe women should be equal but I’m not a feminist.” -You can be really passionate about cars, bikes, books, or even your girlfriend but like you need to recognize the normal human is probably not as passionate about it.  -If you end your sentences with an upward inflection like every sentence is a question, humans should be allowed to pose another question to keep the human connection going. -If I say I haven’t seen that tv show or episode, it is now deemed unnecessary to explain it to me. Trust me, its better to hear the professionals do it.  -Society has progressed enough for the creation of nannies and dog walkers so please don’t assume this cute creature belongs to me. -Everyone should like Beyonce’s newest, self-titled album. Everyone.

Opinions that Should be Facts

Yes, technically, these cannot be proven true or false. They are an opinion. And it is truly important to understand the difference. However, I hold some opinions that I wish could be proved as facts. Like:

-The word “ironically” should be banned.

-People shouldn’t be allowed to say “I mean I believe women should be equal but I’m not a feminist.”

-You can be really passionate about cars, bikes, books, or even your girlfriend but like you need to recognize the normal human is probably not as passionate about it.

-If you end your sentences with an upward inflection like every sentence is a question, humans should be allowed to pose another question to keep the human connection going.

-If I say I haven’t seen that tv show or episode, it is now deemed unnecessary to explain it to me. Trust me, its better to hear the professionals do it.

-Society has progressed enough for the creation of nannies and dog walkers so please don’t assume this cute creature belongs to me.

-Everyone should like Beyonce’s newest, self-titled album. Everyone.

(Source: giphy.com)

Why You Need to Be Aggressive in Everyday Life
I recently moved to the Midwest. Everyone is friendly. Everyone smiles at you. Cashiers ask you how your day is and seem genuinely interested in what you have to say.
Then they all get in their cars….
And its like all the pent up anger they don’t take out face to face with strangers, they get it all out on pedestrians and bikers. They cut you off. They speed through crosswalks as you are about to legally cross. They swear at you. They yell at you.
Hence, let’s all just be aggressive all the time. That way its all out of our system before we get into high speed metal death traps.

Why You Need to Be Aggressive in Everyday Life

I recently moved to the Midwest. Everyone is friendly. Everyone smiles at you. Cashiers ask you how your day is and seem genuinely interested in what you have to say.

Then they all get in their cars….

And its like all the pent up anger they don’t take out face to face with strangers, they get it all out on pedestrians and bikers. They cut you off. They speed through crosswalks as you are about to legally cross. They swear at you. They yell at you.

Hence, let’s all just be aggressive all the time. That way its all out of our system before we get into high speed metal death traps.

(Source: giphy.com)

When someone you don’t know walks into your apartment, what would your reaction be?
It might be to call the police.
It might be to grab a blunt object to arm yourself for confrontation.
It might even be to simply walk over to the person and say, “Can I help you?”
It’s probably not to hide against the wall and say, “Hello?” to the very confused Asian man who accidentally stumbled into the apartment you forgot to lock thinking it was his apartment he moved into that day.

When someone you don’t know walks into your apartment, what would your reaction be?

It might be to call the police.

It might be to grab a blunt object to arm yourself for confrontation.

It might even be to simply walk over to the person and say, “Can I help you?”

It’s probably not to hide against the wall and say, “Hello?” to the very confused Asian man who accidentally stumbled into the apartment you forgot to lock thinking it was his apartment he moved into that day.

(Source: giphy.com)

Through life, you hear so many different sayings and cliches. I have some problems with a few of them.
When life gives you lemons, make lemonade. Meaning: Make the best with what you have.  Heres the thing, you need more than just lemons to make lemonade. You need sugar, water, ice, a pitcher, and cups. You can’t make the best of what you have when what you have is ⅕ of a recipe.
Watched pot never boils. Meaning: Waiting for something won’t make it happen. Except when you’re boiling water because like, if you have it over flame it, it will boil eventually.
An apple a day keeps the doctor away. Meaning: Eat healthy and you won’t need the doctor. Am I just supposed to eat apples? Or can I eat an apple a day with other unhealthy things? Will the doctor ask me, “Are you eating an apple a day? You are. Great. My job is done here.”
Laughter is the best medicine. Meaning: Find the humor in life. Again, I’m pretty sure the doctor isn’t going to treat my kidney infection with a prescription of laughter.
Do as I say and not as I do. Meaning: I’ve made mistakes. I learned from them. Don’t make the same mistakes as me. You’re a hypocrite and shouldn’t be giving advice.
Its raining cats and dogs. Meaning: Its really raining. If it really is raining that hard outside, I can probably use my eyeballs and I don’t need your weird old person measurement of precipitation to tell me that.
Read between the lines. Meaning: Look at the subtext of the situation. If I actually read between the lines, its just small white space. So technically, I can’t read anything you wide-faced buffoon.
I woke up on the wrong side of the bed. Meaning: My day is going poorly from the very start. You’re having a shitty day. If it all it takes to start your day wrong is changing your regular morning routine, you need be a little more flexible in your life. You’re probably having a bad day because you have a huge stick up your ass and everybody knows it. Don’t blame it on the bed.
Cat got your tongue Meaning: You’re stumbling on your words. If a cat actually had my tongue, I think you would notice. I hope in that situation you would be a cheeky bastard about it and get the fucking cat out of my mouth.

Through life, you hear so many different sayings and cliches. I have some problems with a few of them.

When life gives you lemons, make lemonade.
Meaning: Make the best with what you have.
Heres the thing, you need more than just lemons to make lemonade. You need sugar, water, ice, a pitcher, and cups. You can’t make the best of what you have when what you have is ⅕ of a recipe.

Watched pot never boils.
Meaning: Waiting for something won’t make it happen.
Except when you’re boiling water because like, if you have it over flame it, it will boil eventually.

An apple a day keeps the doctor away.
Meaning: Eat healthy and you won’t need the doctor.
Am I just supposed to eat apples? Or can I eat an apple a day with other unhealthy things? Will the doctor ask me, “Are you eating an apple a day? You are. Great. My job is done here.”

Laughter is the best medicine.
Meaning: Find the humor in life.
Again, I’m pretty sure the doctor isn’t going to treat my kidney infection with a prescription of laughter.

Do as I say and not as I do.
Meaning: I’ve made mistakes. I learned from them. Don’t make the same mistakes as me.
You’re a hypocrite and shouldn’t be giving advice.

Its raining cats and dogs.
Meaning: Its really raining.
If it really is raining that hard outside, I can probably use my eyeballs and I don’t need your weird old person measurement of precipitation to tell me that.

Read between the lines.
Meaning: Look at the subtext of the situation.
If I actually read between the lines, its just small white space. So technically, I can’t read anything you wide-faced buffoon.

I woke up on the wrong side of the bed.
Meaning: My day is going poorly from the very start.
You’re having a shitty day. If it all it takes to start your day wrong is changing your regular morning routine, you need be a little more flexible in your life. You’re probably having a bad day because you have a huge stick up your ass and everybody knows it. Don’t blame it on the bed.

Cat got your tongue
Meaning: You’re stumbling on your words.
If a cat actually had my tongue, I think you would notice. I hope in that situation you would be a cheeky bastard about it and get the fucking cat out of my mouth.

(Source: giphy.com)

This is the story of the day Chicago won the battle against Alyssa.
It all began on a bike. I had decided to bike share for the day. I had a primo parking space and was not planning on losing it. For those who aren’t graced with the privilege of living in Chicago, its streets are riddled with potholes. Potholes capable of holding a small pug comfortable. No driver or biker wants to come in contact with these beasts in fear of creating a massive flat tire. I assume this was the thought of the cabbie that hit me while I was biking in the bike lane.
After I was knocked to the ground, the cabbie decided to exit his yellow vehicle to say this:

“You must be in the line!”“No worries, I’m totally fine. Also, I was in the bike lane. You know, the lane designated specifically for bikes. Not bikes and cabs.”

He looked at me confused, asked if I was alright, left before I could answer really and drove away. Kindness is truly alive and well.
Then a woman who watched all the transpired also watched me get back on my back and then decided to ask:

“Are you mobile?”“Um…yeah.”“Please move your arms around.”“I mean, I had to move my arms to pick up my bike and then get back on it…so yeah. I’m mobile.”“Are you shook up?”“I got hit by a car so yes but I also need to go so like I’m good really.”

And then I biked back to my apartment.
Chicago: 1 Alyssa: 0
I arrived home, gathered my boyfriend and we got on a bus to pick up our new bikes. The air was thick with irony and also the smell of urine. Why? Because a homeless man was on the bus in his jorts pacing up and down the aisle. I noticed his fly was open. As he was homeless and mumbling to himself, I figured he probably wouldn’t be super concerned about a zipper on his pants. Then he turned. And there, through the open fly, was his penis. I watched until my stop as each person looked at him and then really looked at him. Their faces almost made me forget the large welt accumulating on my arm. Then he headed in my direction. Avoiding something that rhymes with “direction,” I got off a stop early.
Chicago: 2 Alyssa: 0
Riding my new, beautiful bike home, I looked down at my arms which were now beet red. The first sunny day in Chicago decided to seek revenge on winter starting with my forearms.
Chicago: 3 Alyssa: 0
So Chicago may have won the battle, but I will win the war. Because I love Chicago and I may be hard to like at first, but once people get to know me I really am not that bad. I will win it with kindness and shear force of pizza eating.

This is the story of the day Chicago won the battle against Alyssa.

It all began on a bike. I had decided to bike share for the day. I had a primo parking space and was not planning on losing it. For those who aren’t graced with the privilege of living in Chicago, its streets are riddled with potholes. Potholes capable of holding a small pug comfortable. No driver or biker wants to come in contact with these beasts in fear of creating a massive flat tire. I assume this was the thought of the cabbie that hit me while I was biking in the bike lane.

After I was knocked to the ground, the cabbie decided to exit his yellow vehicle to say this:

“You must be in the line!”
“No worries, I’m totally fine. Also, I was in the bike lane. You know, the lane designated specifically for bikes. Not bikes and cabs.”

He looked at me confused, asked if I was alright, left before I could answer really and drove away. Kindness is truly alive and well.

Then a woman who watched all the transpired also watched me get back on my back and then decided to ask:

“Are you mobile?”
“Um…yeah.”
“Please move your arms around.”
“I mean, I had to move my arms to pick up my bike and then get back on it…so yeah. I’m mobile.”
“Are you shook up?”
“I got hit by a car so yes but I also need to go so like I’m good really.”

And then I biked back to my apartment.

Chicago: 1 Alyssa: 0

I arrived home, gathered my boyfriend and we got on a bus to pick up our new bikes. The air was thick with irony and also the smell of urine. Why? Because a homeless man was on the bus in his jorts pacing up and down the aisle. I noticed his fly was open. As he was homeless and mumbling to himself, I figured he probably wouldn’t be super concerned about a zipper on his pants. Then he turned. And there, through the open fly, was his penis. I watched until my stop as each person looked at him and then really looked at him. Their faces almost made me forget the large welt accumulating on my arm. Then he headed in my direction. Avoiding something that rhymes with “direction,” I got off a stop early.

Chicago: 2 Alyssa: 0

Riding my new, beautiful bike home, I looked down at my arms which were now beet red. The first sunny day in Chicago decided to seek revenge on winter starting with my forearms.

Chicago: 3 Alyssa: 0

So Chicago may have won the battle, but I will win the war. Because I love Chicago and I may be hard to like at first, but once people get to know me I really am not that bad. I will win it with kindness and shear force of pizza eating.

(Source: giphy.com)

Moving
Things you learn about yourself when you move:
1. You are way more attached to things than you thought you were. Examples: random painting you acquired, the keyboard you no longer play, old make up
2. There is always an excuse for why you still need that pair of pants and that shirt. Example: “Maybe someday I’ll have to go to a costume party with the theme, ‘2008’”
3. You are an illogical person. Example: Taking apart furniture so you can then immediately throw it into the dumpster. Just throw the stuff in the dumpster whole.
4. You can suppress emotional tears but you can’t suppress tears when you drop something heavy on your foot. Example: a desk drawer.
5. You have no upper body strength. Example: attempt to lift that box of books.
6. After two hours of packing, you will give up and you will order pizza. Example: After two hours, you give up packing the kitchen and order pizza.
7. You hate moving. Example: all of the above.

Moving

Things you learn about yourself when you move:

1. You are way more attached to things than you thought you were. Examples: random painting you acquired, the keyboard you no longer play, old make up

2. There is always an excuse for why you still need that pair of pants and that shirt. Example: “Maybe someday I’ll have to go to a costume party with the theme, ‘2008’”

3. You are an illogical person. Example: Taking apart furniture so you can then immediately throw it into the dumpster. Just throw the stuff in the dumpster whole.

4. You can suppress emotional tears but you can’t suppress tears when you drop something heavy on your foot. Example: a desk drawer.

5. You have no upper body strength. Example: attempt to lift that box of books.

6. After two hours of packing, you will give up and you will order pizza. Example: After two hours, you give up packing the kitchen and order pizza.

7. You hate moving. Example: all of the above.

(Source: giphy.com)

Aging
Going back to childhood haunts forces you to recognize you have aged. Recently, I went back to my uncle’s house. As a youngster, I would play hide and seek in the backyard, race around the house and ride my bike down the driveway. As a 20something, I went back for a bonfire with my 7 year old brother (see former post regarding evil genius). He wanted to play hide and seek.
My mind immediately flashed to my days as a 7 year old, hiding under the porch. As I counted down from 50 while he hid, I smiled. Time has come full circle. I felt my sarcasm and cynicism melt away. I felt reborn, like a kid again. I shouted, “READY OR NOT HERE I COME,” and began my quest to find him.
Then I realized my night vision is terrible and thought, “this seems a bit early for that.” AND THE SARCASM SHELL HARDENED LIKE AN EXOSKELETON AROUND ME ONCE AGAIN.

Aging

Going back to childhood haunts forces you to recognize you have aged. Recently, I went back to my uncle’s house. As a youngster, I would play hide and seek in the backyard, race around the house and ride my bike down the driveway. As a 20something, I went back for a bonfire with my 7 year old brother (see former post regarding evil genius). He wanted to play hide and seek.

My mind immediately flashed to my days as a 7 year old, hiding under the porch. As I counted down from 50 while he hid, I smiled. Time has come full circle. I felt my sarcasm and cynicism melt away. I felt reborn, like a kid again. I shouted, “READY OR NOT HERE I COME,” and began my quest to find him.

Then I realized my night vision is terrible and thought, “this seems a bit early for that.” AND THE SARCASM SHELL HARDENED LIKE AN EXOSKELETON AROUND ME ONCE AGAIN.

(Source: giphy.com)

My Night at EI
Let me take you back to my freshman year. I was a fresh-faced suburbanite who watched alot of TV and movies. I arrived at AU and began living my life in honor of the song, “I Love College.”
I can feel you rolling your eyes. And don’t worry, I’m judging my freshman self too.
AU does a terrific job of warning you about EI. You are told by Orientation Leaders to avoid it at all costs. There is even a rumor that they kill puppies as a part of hazing. However, another rumor was going around. The rumor was that “EI isn’t that bad anymore. Really! Their parties are super fun.”
My moldable freshman brain listened to the second rumor, despite my almost painful love of puppies. I decided to try out EI for myself. How bad could it be?
My friends and I got dressed to get “ride ready.” This means looking your hottest and most attractive so you get one of the first rides to frat house. As AU is a dry campus, fraternities have their debauchery elsewhere. Getting the first ride was a bit of a status symbol or at least it was in my brainbox. It meant you were the first person they saw and wanted at their party. It also meant you had first dibs of their alcohol, allowing me to uphold my motto, “Get in, get drunk, get out.”
I know guys. I already told you. I’m judging myself. I’m doing it for you.
EI, like every other frat, gave rides from the LA quad. Like with every other frat, I stood and made my best come hither eyes. Successfully procuring a ride, we drove to the house. I paid no attention to where we went, figuring I always manage to find my way home somehow.
We arrived. I made a beeline for the alcohol. It appeared the only drink available was jungle juice. I wasn’t a fan but if it got the job down, so be it. I filled three red solo cups (like the movies!) and began drinking.
Again, I’m judging myself. And also AU’s stupid policy of a “dry” campus allowing for a horrible, misogynist “ride” system to exist. But that’s for another time.
This jungle juice was different than the others. It was thicker and stronger. I felt like my body was moving 2-5 seconds slower than normal. We sat on a couch and I watched in slow motion as a my friend literally just let go of her cup in to my lap. Her eyes wide with horror, she apologized. She also appeared to feel the world moving like jello.
I felt like the world was fast forwarding and I was on pause. Some of my friends returned from a group bathroom trip and told me there were padlocks outside the bedroom doors. My mind, while seemingly pudding, turned back on for a second.
It was time to leave.
We could have been there for 4 hours or 20 minutes. I had no conception of time. We found a ride back home. I don’t know who drove us or if they were even sober. I knew I had to pee and I needed to get out of EI’s party.
We finally arrived back at AU on the “southside” of campus. I lived in “northside.” I needed to pee and my friends needed to make that happen. And everything still felt like I was walking through a fog of cotton candy.
I was told to sing “Yes” from “A New Brain”, my current musical fav, to distract me from my need to pee. We walked to Subway to use the bathroom. It was closed. I began singing quicker as we walked to my friend’s dorm.
I ran into the dorm to the nearest bathroom and met my friends back in the room. They were sitting, glassy eyed and confused. We were detached from reality and unsure how it happened. As I finally got into bed, I texted an EI-frequenter to ask what was in the jungle juice.
As it turns out, EI’s jungle juice recipe is one part alcohol one part robitussin to create a hazy, dazy evening of relaxed morals, confusion, and robotripping.
Now, American University and EI have gotten a lot of attention recently. While I wish the media would pick up my story of how my former college apartment was certainly on top of a hellmouth, these leaked EI emails are more important.
I am lucky enough to look back at my story and laugh. I can laugh at how I drunkenly sang an off-Broadway musical song through AU’s campus. I can laugh at how I mistakenly robotripped and everything turned out okay.
But I am lucky. This was clearly a tame night for the “underground” frat.
But in truth, EI is not underground. They are open. They haze on campus. They wear letters on campus. They pick up students from campus to take them to parties. They behave like a frat without having to follow any of the rules.
My story is a silly one. I have no proof of padlocks outside bedroom doors or even if I actually robotripped. But I get to retell the story at parties to slightly horrified laughs. EI’s story is one of trouble making, rape culture, misogyny and illegal activity told to horrified gasps.
And sure, you can say this happens at every frat. You can say this is an “extreme” feminists way of sensationalizing a controversy. And I say, so what? Let it be sensationalized. Let this behavior become nationally recognized as deplorable. Let every frat be afraid their words and actions will be leaked to the world someday. Let them hold themselves accountable.
And yep, you can say EI isn’t actually a frat. You can say FratergateAU is demonizing every frat because of the behavior of one fake frat. And again, I say, so what? A simple google search will reveal you don’t need to be a fake frat to behave the way EI does or worse. So, all frats will need to take a deeper look at themselves. So, frats will have to prove they don’t support rape culture. So, frats will have to openly act likely kind humans.
And yes, you can say girls should know better than go to a frat that has the same reputation as pirates, (rape, pillage and plunder). I’ve already judged myself for making such a decision. However the girls attending these parties are not supporting rape culture. The brothers of EI and their despicable language and behavior support rape culture. Instead of telling people to stop going to their parties, tell the brothers to stop behaving poorly. Go to the root of the problem.
Hold them accountable.
Hold rape culture accountable.
Sign this: http://www.change.org/petitions/neil-kerwin-no-more-silence-demand-sexual-assault-prevention-and-consequences-for-epsilon-iota?utm_campaign=new_signature&utm_medium=email&utm_source=signature_receipt#share

My Night at EI

Let me take you back to my freshman year. I was a fresh-faced suburbanite who watched alot of TV and movies. I arrived at AU and began living my life in honor of the song, “I Love College.”

I can feel you rolling your eyes. And don’t worry, I’m judging my freshman self too.

AU does a terrific job of warning you about EI. You are told by Orientation Leaders to avoid it at all costs. There is even a rumor that they kill puppies as a part of hazing. However, another rumor was going around. The rumor was that “EI isn’t that bad anymore. Really! Their parties are super fun.”

My moldable freshman brain listened to the second rumor, despite my almost painful love of puppies. I decided to try out EI for myself. How bad could it be?

My friends and I got dressed to get “ride ready.” This means looking your hottest and most attractive so you get one of the first rides to frat house. As AU is a dry campus, fraternities have their debauchery elsewhere. Getting the first ride was a bit of a status symbol or at least it was in my brainbox. It meant you were the first person they saw and wanted at their party. It also meant you had first dibs of their alcohol, allowing me to uphold my motto, “Get in, get drunk, get out.”

I know guys. I already told you. I’m judging myself. I’m doing it for you.

EI, like every other frat, gave rides from the LA quad. Like with every other frat, I stood and made my best come hither eyes. Successfully procuring a ride, we drove to the house. I paid no attention to where we went, figuring I always manage to find my way home somehow.

We arrived. I made a beeline for the alcohol. It appeared the only drink available was jungle juice. I wasn’t a fan but if it got the job down, so be it. I filled three red solo cups (like the movies!) and began drinking.

Again, I’m judging myself. And also AU’s stupid policy of a “dry” campus allowing for a horrible, misogynist “ride” system to exist. But that’s for another time.

This jungle juice was different than the others. It was thicker and stronger. I felt like my body was moving 2-5 seconds slower than normal. We sat on a couch and I watched in slow motion as a my friend literally just let go of her cup in to my lap. Her eyes wide with horror, she apologized. She also appeared to feel the world moving like jello.

I felt like the world was fast forwarding and I was on pause. Some of my friends returned from a group bathroom trip and told me there were padlocks outside the bedroom doors. My mind, while seemingly pudding, turned back on for a second.

It was time to leave.

We could have been there for 4 hours or 20 minutes. I had no conception of time. We found a ride back home. I don’t know who drove us or if they were even sober. I knew I had to pee and I needed to get out of EI’s party.

We finally arrived back at AU on the “southside” of campus. I lived in “northside.” I needed to pee and my friends needed to make that happen. And everything still felt like I was walking through a fog of cotton candy.

I was told to sing “Yes” from “A New Brain”, my current musical fav, to distract me from my need to pee. We walked to Subway to use the bathroom. It was closed. I began singing quicker as we walked to my friend’s dorm.

I ran into the dorm to the nearest bathroom and met my friends back in the room. They were sitting, glassy eyed and confused. We were detached from reality and unsure how it happened. As I finally got into bed, I texted an EI-frequenter to ask what was in the jungle juice.

As it turns out, EI’s jungle juice recipe is one part alcohol one part robitussin to create a hazy, dazy evening of relaxed morals, confusion, and robotripping.

Now, American University and EI have gotten a lot of attention recently. While I wish the media would pick up my story of how my former college apartment was certainly on top of a hellmouth, these leaked EI emails are more important.

I am lucky enough to look back at my story and laugh. I can laugh at how I drunkenly sang an off-Broadway musical song through AU’s campus. I can laugh at how I mistakenly robotripped and everything turned out okay.

But I am lucky. This was clearly a tame night for the “underground” frat.

But in truth, EI is not underground. They are open. They haze on campus. They wear letters on campus. They pick up students from campus to take them to parties. They behave like a frat without having to follow any of the rules.

My story is a silly one. I have no proof of padlocks outside bedroom doors or even if I actually robotripped. But I get to retell the story at parties to slightly horrified laughs. EI’s story is one of trouble making, rape culture, misogyny and illegal activity told to horrified gasps.

And sure, you can say this happens at every frat. You can say this is an “extreme” feminists way of sensationalizing a controversy. And I say, so what? Let it be sensationalized. Let this behavior become nationally recognized as deplorable. Let every frat be afraid their words and actions will be leaked to the world someday. Let them hold themselves accountable.

And yep, you can say EI isn’t actually a frat. You can say FratergateAU is demonizing every frat because of the behavior of one fake frat. And again, I say, so what? A simple google search will reveal you don’t need to be a fake frat to behave the way EI does or worse. So, all frats will need to take a deeper look at themselves. So, frats will have to prove they don’t support rape culture. So, frats will have to openly act likely kind humans.

And yes, you can say girls should know better than go to a frat that has the same reputation as pirates, (rape, pillage and plunder). I’ve already judged myself for making such a decision. However the girls attending these parties are not supporting rape culture. The brothers of EI and their despicable language and behavior support rape culture. Instead of telling people to stop going to their parties, tell the brothers to stop behaving poorly. Go to the root of the problem.

Hold them accountable.

Hold rape culture accountable.

Sign this: http://www.change.org/petitions/neil-kerwin-no-more-silence-demand-sexual-assault-prevention-and-consequences-for-epsilon-iota?utm_campaign=new_signature&utm_medium=email&utm_source=signature_receipt#share

(Source: giphy.com)